Rage Dreams

When I was a kid, when I had nightmares, they were often the “being chased by something you can’t escape” type.

For the last few years, I have less fear dreams, and more rage dreams. The content is not consistent, but the tone is – I am furious, sometimes screaming at someone, sometimes physically trying to hurt them. Tonight, it was a travel agent who screwed up my flight plans home after some miserable work trip, and I couldn’t get home. I was furious, and screaming on the phone. Somehow, it descended into physical fighting.

These dreams are exhausting. I wake up with all my muscles tight, my body aching, tired, and, of course, furious.

I guess that if I had to inherit the legendary temper and temprament of my father’s family, at least it comes out (mostly) in dreams and I’m not forever shooting out people’s tires and such. In fact, I am so terrified of my temper that usually no one ever hears when I am furious. I just walk away, then take it out at home or something. I am the most frightened of myself of anyone.

I am not sure this is a good thing. No one ever knows when I am angry. Or at least, never the right person. People think I’m very calm and collected. But I wish sometimes I could let myself be like the rest of my family – make huge, angry scenes that frighten everyone in hearing distance.

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2 Comments

  1. I had a big lesson in projection back in ’01 when I came to the realization I was projecting familial conflicts onto people at work and those people were in my dreams. I stood up to one of them in my dream (he really was a total manipulative prick in RL) and took a swing and woke up punching the sheets. Turns out I was really wanting to punch my father. Sounds so cliche, eh? But when I thought it out logically, it was 100% right.
    I guess my dream censor wasnt working well that night, because the conscious got really riled up with the not-so-well-hidden symbolism in the dream.

    The unconscious is very good at hiding things or making them seem normal when theyre not.

  2. this shows the transition of your anxiety as a child and how youve turned it (over the years) into an aggressive temper. i know cuz ive been there and still am. as a kid you dont understand these things that scare you and make your heart skip a couple of beats… if you didnt ger a chance to communicate this fear as a kid to your parents or anyone, and i think your fathers familys temper is one of the culprits (because again this is also my case)… then today this fear transgressed in hidden anger and irritability. its amazing you get control over this though since i myself have a couple of holes in my walls..

    anyhow… hope this helps… dreams are important sometimes they help us find out who we are and what we need to work on in order to face these demons better 🙂


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