Freak out

Somehow I let myself fall asleep on the couch for about 4 hours. It was going to be a short nap, but then I couldn’t get up. My whole fucking body felt stuck.

Of course, the one other side effect this med has is sleep paralysis for me. So I had that for a long time. I had to try to pull myself out of it for about the last half hour. I feel horrible. Had dreams with no visual parts – just the sensation of spinning. I felt truly like I was losing my mind. These dreams also sometimes have me dreaming that I wake up and wander, very realistically. So that happened too.

Now that I’m finally up, I feel like I am sleeping partway. Things feel unreal, slow, frightening.

It feels like I am really and truly losing my mind. I keep saying to myself, “Psychosis is treatable too…psychosis is treatable too…” and drinking caffeinated cola right now to help myself wake up.

Why am I still trying to stop this med?


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