Decisions

I was offered the option of taking two weeks of training or two weeks of work-from-home/vacation starting next week. I am torn.

Yeah, I know, I’m crashing hard now. I can barely make it to work as is. Everyone around me keeps telling me to take some time off.

But the novelty-seeking part of the whole shitty personality package makes me say, Fuck, you want to learn about the stuff offered in the next two weeks. When else are you going to be able to?

And this, my friends, is how I keep crashing.

I wish there was more research about sleep in these illnesses. I wonder if that isn’t a critical factor in all of this. It seems so central to me. I mean, if I make sure I sleep enough every night, I’m stable, or even always pleasantly high. But the jet lag from coming back has killed me. Two nights ago, I didn’t sleep at all – despite being ready to fall asleep all day.

Today I exercised hard for the first time since I’ve been back. It’s funny how that is the one thing that can always make you feel better immediately, yet it is so hard to do. I guess it goes together.

And clearly, my writing is bad. So I’ll stop for now.

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