Article Link

NYT Book Review.
Diagnosis: Female
Click here for link.
May have to read it, wish I’d written it.

Sodium Valproate, or “Here we go again…”

I started taking it a few days ago and I think I’m having a bad reaction. The physical stuff hasn’t been too bad, a little stomach trouble but that’s it. No super-drugged feeling.
But my mood has crashed. It’s now an active depression as opposed to a passive one. I woke up this morning crying with [...]

Physical Versus Mental Illness

In an unpublished email, Milo wrote this comment to me:
Personally speaking, i passed a kidney stone last year, and being dead honest here, i’d  much rather the physical illness than having a paranoid episode… i really really do. i tell you one thing Sara, the pain was absolutely horrendous, but no one laughed at me. [...]

What Tarot Card Are You Quiz

First of all – a quick note – for some reason, suddenly I’m getting hundreds of hits from closed weight loss forum sites, especially to a post called Facing the Weekend. I can’t see who put my site on there. Does anyone have any idea what is going on? Did anyone come from one of [...]

Psychiatry claims another victim

…or Dona Juana falls for it again.
I have been having a really horrible week. So horrible, in fact, that almost every night on call I get to a point where it is difficult to avoid thinking about suicide seriously…climbing up to the top of a tall building and jumping. I have been inconsolable. I haven’t [...]

More search engine terms

Even though I just did this, there have been a few that popped up in the past few days that are so worth posting:
i lost my ego
why i hate psychiatry
even my shadow is jealous my skin is mad
feelingless bipolar 
escape life seclude depression
The runner-up for best search term:
are psychiatrists strange
And my favorite:
what asshole i am

Since I am far, far too fried to write

I thought I’d put up a list of some of the search terms people used to get here. I always enjoy it when people do that:
how make appointment psychiatrist (and many similar ones ie “what happens at a psychiatrist appointment” – believe me, not all are like mine)
lithium suicidal thoughts (yep)
does lithium take away joy [...]

Does anyone know

how to get the second sidebar to appear on the right side of the page? When I move stuff into it, it appears at the bottom.

The Great Experiment

This is the attempt to move
http://sarasalterego.blogspot.com
over to WordPress. In the meantime, I will post at both.

On Going Down

I’m so fried that I can really only do busy-work. I did data entry for hours tonight. It’s alright; I had to catch up on that anyway. Today I worked long hours again, because if I do that, I forget everything else sometimes.
I put the radio on in the background. It was hard to find [...]

Still here

Yeah, I’m still around. It’s just that the going back to work and all that is killing me. I am very tired…even though I slept a lot this weekend. I wish I could just sleep well for once.
I am also now a couple of weeks with no meds. I forgot the actual physical feelings that [...]

Where to go for support

A good friend who has been following this latest drama suggested I look for some internet forums for support or something. A good idea, in theory.
The problem is when you actually get there, those forums are full of people whose issues are so different, so much deeper. Their lists of meds are the “shut the [...]

Freak out

Somehow I let myself fall asleep on the couch for about 4 hours. It was going to be a short nap, but then I couldn’t get up. My whole fucking body felt stuck.
Of course, the one other side effect this med has is sleep paralysis for me. So I had that for a long time. [...]

Continued…

Have I lost my mind? The one-third of a daily dose that I took yesterday because the withdrawal was so bad did me so much good. I slept like a human being. I got up today to work like normal. My body stopped hurting (except for my face). So why am I stopping?
I think the [...]

Scared

I’m off meds now for about two weeks. Things are getting scary. I wake up at 3:30 AM. I itch all over. I am having serious withdrawal. Today I had to take just 1/3 of a dose, just to sort of make it stop.
I talked to my regular doc about this. He tried to give [...]